I know alot of you read Dooce and you might already have read her recent post regarding the "to stay at home mom or not?" debate.
I have a few thoughts about this and I thought I'd bring them up here.
First of all, this is a hot topic; one I've read about often over the past few months. Parenting and pregnancy magazines enjoy featuring articles on the topic, new mom bloggers write about this tope frequently. From what I've read it seems as if the debate is always about two things: the mother and a choice.
Does the mother make the choice to stay at home or does she choose to work? And then the debate becomes one of money. I've heard many women describe being lucky enough to stay at home because their partners or husbands make enough money to allow them to stay at home to be with their child. There are two ways of thinking: staying at home to raise the child is exercising the feminist philosophy of choice, or staying at home is a waste of an education - an education that the feminists (I use that term in a general way) worked hard to ensure for all women.
I respect both sides of the issue. If one has money and could easily leave their job to stay at home then, why not? Or if a mom enjoys her job and contributing financially to the family, then what is the problem with doing so?
My problem is that I don't have a choice. I don't have a marketable skill that will bring in enough money to take care of childcare and some of the bills. I have two college educations that I worked very hard to achieve. I worked two jobs during college to pay for my education myself (no student loans or anything)and I worked part-time during massage school (Mark supported me) so obviously, I'm capable of working. However, my previous work experience has shown me that I am perpetually only going to make about $25k a year and as I mentioned, in Seattle, that does not pay for child care AND bills. I can be a great receptionist, but I have no computer skills. I am a great massage therapist, but finding steady income in that field is not possible (yet). I have eleven years of experience in retail, but the retail world is not terribly conducive to being a parent. And also? How many of these types of jobs that I am qualified to do, offer medical benefts? I know there are many moms out there who are working in these environments -- I've worked with many of them over the years. Every mom I've worked with has had to struggle to pay for the day care bill. Each time their child is sick and they need to call in sick, it's always lost income. There is no sick time in retail, reception work, or in owning one's business.
And so I find myself faced with the fact that I don't have a choice. I am not staying at home because I choose to. I am staying at home because I have to.
I have a few thoughts about this and I thought I'd bring them up here.
First of all, this is a hot topic; one I've read about often over the past few months. Parenting and pregnancy magazines enjoy featuring articles on the topic, new mom bloggers write about this tope frequently. From what I've read it seems as if the debate is always about two things: the mother and a choice.
Does the mother make the choice to stay at home or does she choose to work? And then the debate becomes one of money. I've heard many women describe being lucky enough to stay at home because their partners or husbands make enough money to allow them to stay at home to be with their child. There are two ways of thinking: staying at home to raise the child is exercising the feminist philosophy of choice, or staying at home is a waste of an education - an education that the feminists (I use that term in a general way) worked hard to ensure for all women.
I respect both sides of the issue. If one has money and could easily leave their job to stay at home then, why not? Or if a mom enjoys her job and contributing financially to the family, then what is the problem with doing so?
My problem is that I don't have a choice. I don't have a marketable skill that will bring in enough money to take care of childcare and some of the bills. I have two college educations that I worked very hard to achieve. I worked two jobs during college to pay for my education myself (no student loans or anything)and I worked part-time during massage school (Mark supported me) so obviously, I'm capable of working. However, my previous work experience has shown me that I am perpetually only going to make about $25k a year and as I mentioned, in Seattle, that does not pay for child care AND bills. I can be a great receptionist, but I have no computer skills. I am a great massage therapist, but finding steady income in that field is not possible (yet). I have eleven years of experience in retail, but the retail world is not terribly conducive to being a parent. And also? How many of these types of jobs that I am qualified to do, offer medical benefts? I know there are many moms out there who are working in these environments -- I've worked with many of them over the years. Every mom I've worked with has had to struggle to pay for the day care bill. Each time their child is sick and they need to call in sick, it's always lost income. There is no sick time in retail, reception work, or in owning one's business.
And so I find myself faced with the fact that I don't have a choice. I am not staying at home because I choose to. I am staying at home because I have to.
posted by Swiftyjess at 10:28 AM
4 Comments:
I agree that this is definitely an interesting issue that's floating around the blogosphere (and my brain) a lot lately. Or maybe I've just become more aware of it now that I'm pregnant.
I'm in the seemingly opposite position that you are in right now. My job pays well and has health benefits and I'm only one year into a two year contract, so I feel like I *have* to work next year even though I'm not sure that I want to. Of course, I'm performing so horribly at my job that I probably won't get hired anywhere else after next year, and then I'll be singing a different tune entirely. I wish this "good" job opportunity wasn't coinciding with the first year of the baby's life. My husband has had to fill out all the daycare applications because it makes me feel too sad/guilty.
Anyway. I agree--it does seem that most of us end up feeling like there's no choice in our "choice".
anonymous=YPB in the previous post:)
Are you going to take some massage clients at your home?
Casey
I'd love to take in massage clients in my home. However, currently we live in a 600 sq. ft. apartment, 300 sq. feet of which is covered with baby accessories.
We are trying to purchase property of some sort (townhome, condo, home), but as these things go it will take awhile to dot the i's and cross the t's.
I did make the choice to have a baby and hubby & I have talked extensively about our situation.
I will try to go back to work in June one day a week. We'll see if that is feasible or smart.
Post a Comment
<< Home