Raise your hands if you think I am one of those people inclined to ask for help...
That's what I thought - no hands are raised. It isn't that I am too proud to ask for help; only that I try to find a way of doing things myself first before I finally admit defeat. I realize it's an annoying trait that I have.
Before I had the baby I had so many ideas of what I'd be like as a parent. That's not to say I'm judgemental about other parents parenting styles -- only that I tried to think about every situation possible and armor myself with a method for solving the problem - I'm just that way.
Anyway, admitting I need help with something is not easy for me. I assumed that after the baby came I would become more open and ask for help with things I suddenly found challenging. It's somewhat lonely at home. Sydney is not much of a conversationalist at this stage and I can only watch so many movies as entertainment. I don't have enough time when she's asleep to do any of the chores (and I'm really not supposed to anyway) as she only stays asleep for about a half an hour. Mark leaves for work around noon and tries to put in a full day so I don't see him again until nine in the evening. I don't know what it is, but I find myself doubting my abilities as a mom or as a wife. I find myself reaching over to pick up Sydney when she's made just an utterance of a peep instead of a full-blown cry just so I can hold her. Not only that but she won't sleep unless she's being held. So I don't get any sleep if I'm holding her.
I've called my mother several times a day in the past week. She and I aren't exactly close and before the baby we talked on the phone about once a week or so. Today I called her just to chat and I grew very sad when speaking with her. I didn't have a break down by definition, but I did cry and asked her to come over. Just as I did during labor I felt myself upset at how quickly I "gave in". I don't know why I put pressure on myself. I should know better after the experience in feeling disappointed at the way Sydney's birth turned out. (Incidentally, I have chilled out regarding the C Section). Is it a new mom thing? Or does it come back to the idea that I like to try to reason things out first before I ask for help? With a baby reasoning things out isn't really an option for dealing with all of the new changes. So I needed to ask for help. My mom was quite helpful and gave me a few pointers in trying to survive the next few weeks as a new mama. She's sending my brother over to watch Sydney for a short time while I shower and try to take a nap. Though it's something small, I did ask for help.
On a much lighter and potentially gross-out note, I tasted my own breast milk. Some of it leaked on my hand while I was nursing Sydney so I er, just tried a little bit of it.
That's what I thought - no hands are raised. It isn't that I am too proud to ask for help; only that I try to find a way of doing things myself first before I finally admit defeat. I realize it's an annoying trait that I have.
Before I had the baby I had so many ideas of what I'd be like as a parent. That's not to say I'm judgemental about other parents parenting styles -- only that I tried to think about every situation possible and armor myself with a method for solving the problem - I'm just that way.
Anyway, admitting I need help with something is not easy for me. I assumed that after the baby came I would become more open and ask for help with things I suddenly found challenging. It's somewhat lonely at home. Sydney is not much of a conversationalist at this stage and I can only watch so many movies as entertainment. I don't have enough time when she's asleep to do any of the chores (and I'm really not supposed to anyway) as she only stays asleep for about a half an hour. Mark leaves for work around noon and tries to put in a full day so I don't see him again until nine in the evening. I don't know what it is, but I find myself doubting my abilities as a mom or as a wife. I find myself reaching over to pick up Sydney when she's made just an utterance of a peep instead of a full-blown cry just so I can hold her. Not only that but she won't sleep unless she's being held. So I don't get any sleep if I'm holding her.
I've called my mother several times a day in the past week. She and I aren't exactly close and before the baby we talked on the phone about once a week or so. Today I called her just to chat and I grew very sad when speaking with her. I didn't have a break down by definition, but I did cry and asked her to come over. Just as I did during labor I felt myself upset at how quickly I "gave in". I don't know why I put pressure on myself. I should know better after the experience in feeling disappointed at the way Sydney's birth turned out. (Incidentally, I have chilled out regarding the C Section). Is it a new mom thing? Or does it come back to the idea that I like to try to reason things out first before I ask for help? With a baby reasoning things out isn't really an option for dealing with all of the new changes. So I needed to ask for help. My mom was quite helpful and gave me a few pointers in trying to survive the next few weeks as a new mama. She's sending my brother over to watch Sydney for a short time while I shower and try to take a nap. Though it's something small, I did ask for help.
On a much lighter and potentially gross-out note, I tasted my own breast milk. Some of it leaked on my hand while I was nursing Sydney so I er, just tried a little bit of it.
posted by Swiftyjess at 2:11 PM
3 Comments:
So what did the breast milk taste like?
Like watery sweet salty milk. It was weird.
It's OK to ask for help, you know (I know you know). And the breast milk thing doesn't strike me as odd either :) . SO GOOD to see you today!
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